Nina

Speaker Nina

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No more blogs posts until summer 2010

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Nina

Topics: Safe Dating

“I never grew up in a life of drugs or alcohol, but seeking out love would always be my “drug” of choice. My mother died of cancer 6 years ago, and my father wasn’t around, so I always was looking for someone to love me. I met Ishmael in the summer of 2007. We instantly were addicted and attracted to another. Our relationship moved quickly and next thing I knew I was pregnant with his child. He and I were having problems in our relationship and I decided not to keep the child. Our friends and family that knew were shocked and disappointed, but were still supportive of what I choose. Ishmael was not supportive. I made some poor choices. I gave up the job I wanted, had an abortion, and lied to my family about not seeing or talking to Ishmael. It was one poor decision of not sexually or emotionally protecting my self. I jumped into a toxic relationship with a guy I did not know-an alcoholic.

After the abortion, I broke up with Ishmael because he did not support me at all. Ishmael and I were on/off in a relationship for months after the abortion. I finally took some steps to heal in the summer of ‘08. I went to see a counselor and I signed up for school. Once I got into school, I started seeing a counselor on a weekly basis. I read several self-help books, participated in the spiritual community, and journaled frequently. I went within my church community and sought guidance from a counselor and my church pastor (who is also my Godmother). Then once I started college, I saw a counselor (and still do) on a weekly basis.

To stay in a good place I currently attend weekly counseling sessions. I journal, meditate, hike, read, do yoga, connect with new people and make new friends, and reestablish old friendships. A year ago I was scared, mad, and confused. Now I am not the same person. I have travelled a difficult road to letting go of the unhealthy relationship. I still have thoughts of Ishmael go through my mind, but they are not compulsive or obsessive anymore. I have come to realize that the love I am seeking is within me. I simply have to reach within and take it."