Allie

Topics: Substance Abuse

"Growing up, I was an overachiever in every aspect of my life – whether it be in sports, school, clubs, relationships – everything. Even though I was so active and involved in everything, I never truly felt connected.  I felt alone.  I was never comfortable just being “me,” or just sitting in my own skin.  I was also very hard on myself, setting unrealistic expectations that I could never achieve, therefore, never thinking that my best was good enough. 

I was 12 years old when I first got drunk, 14 years old when I smoked my first joint, and 17 years old when I first used crystal meth.  I thought that drinking and drug use would help me achieve my unrealistic goals.  I thought that it would boost my self esteem.  I thought it would help me feel comfortable in my own skin.  In reality, my drug and alcohol abuse did the exact opposite.  The more my addiction grew, the more it led me to a life of seclusion, depression, and self hate.  I distanced myself from my family, friends and boyfriends.  I became a prisoner to my addiction.  I had to plan every day around getting high or getting my next drink.  My addiction led to car accidents, personal injuries, and psychological illness.

After 11 years of active addiction, I went to my parents for help.  I sought out counseling and joined Alcoholics Anonymous.  I am currently an active member of this incredible 12 step program.  I pray, meditate, and surround myself with sober friends. Today, I have learned to accept and love who I am.  I have been taught to set realistic expectations for myself and know that I will be OK no matter what happens in life. For those that think that they may have a problem with drugs or alcohol there is help and you are not alone.  It isn’t too late to begin living life again."